Four Days
by The Island Writer
Summary: What happens when a married Michaela meets and falls in love with a traveling photographer named Sully?
1. Chapter 1

**_I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E. I also do not have anything to do with the movie, "The Bridges of Madison County."_**

**Four Days **

**December 9th, 1900**

They both looked at one another before Elizabeth turned the key to open the old, time trodden trunk. Elizabeth and her brother Jonathan sat on the floor before the fire ready to divulge into their mothers past. She had died days before and the last settlement of her will was to open the chest- -the chest that always stood at the front of their parents' bed. The chest that she never saw open before, neither of them have.

"Lizzie, are you sure you've never seen what's in here?" Jonathan asked swallowing hard as they heard the lock unlatch. "It's just hard for me to believe she never shared with you what's in here. I figured it was a girl thing."

"Mother, never let me look inside. She said it was private. I don't think father even knew what was inside." Unbuckling the belt it slid from the latch and slowly she drew the top upward. The smell of cedar filled their nostrils as they looked down inside.

A thin layer of lace curtain covered all the contents below wrapping everything in a hazy off white gauze. An envelope sat on the top. In there mother's fine penmanship were the names Elizabeth & Jonathan. They both looked at one another. "You read it," Jonathan said.

Biting her bottom lip she stared at the letter wondering what her mother could possibly have written. For a striking moment she felt as if her mother was a stranger and she was just now going to learn something about her. Picking up the letter she turned it around lifted the flap and took out the small one page epistle. Her eyes scanned it without reading and then she turned to her brother and began to read.

_November 6th, 1900_

_Dear Elizabeth and Jonathan,_

_I hope as I have requested you two are reading this together. I know you may have many questions as to why I have changed things in my will. By now you are well aware of my intentions of being buried on Isle au Haut in Penobscot Bay instead of with your father in our plot here in Augusta. I'm sure that had came as a shock to you, and you may think that it's the rambling of some old woman but I a sure you I was in my right mind making these decisions. And I hope by the end you will find why I did this to be important to me and in time come to respect my decisions. _

Looking up from the letter Elizabeth asked her brother, "Have you ever been to Isle au Haut?"

"No, but do you remember the time when we were about fourteen and I asked if we could go sailing up there and she flat out told us no. Remember how adamant she was about it? I just figured she didn't like it up there."

Thinking for a moment she turned back to the letter and went on.

…_There are so many things you don't know about me. And I hope you don't think of me as a stranger when you are through. I am first and foremost your mother and I have always loved you with all of my heart. So many times I thought of taking this with me to my grave but deep down I knew I couldn't keep this from you. As one gets older one's fear subsides. What becomes more and more important is to be known, known for all that you were during this brief stay. How sad it seems to me to leave this earth without those you love the most knowing who you truly were. I want you to understand why I did this. I don't want you to make the same choices I did in my life. More than anything I want you to be happy. _

_Please don't think that I wasn't happy being your mother, because nothing is further from the truth. I have always wanted children and a family and I was lucky enough to inherit both. But what you don't know is I was a completely different person before I married your father. I was a doctor. I went to college and medical school where I obtained my licenses and worked with your grandfather up until the day he died. _

Again looking up from the letter Elizabeth peered over to Jonathan, shock clearly written all over her face. "Mother was a doctor! She…she was a doctor!"

"I…I can't believe it." He scratched the back of his neck, a mannerism he always did when he was nervous. "I knew mother was always smart. And…and I guess now that I think about it, she always knew when we were sick. She knew what we had and how to fix it and make us feel better. But…but a real doctor!"

Tears filled Elizabeth's eyes, "I don't even know what to say. I mean, why did she stop? You just don't stop being a doctor, Jonathan." She leaned back into the front of the chair, her hands shaking. "I don't know if I can go on. What else could she possibility have to say to us?"

"Here," he held out his hand. "Let me finish."

Tentatively she handed it over to him. Pulling the blanket from the chair she wrapped it around her legs and listened to her brother pick up where she left off.

…_When I married your father he didn't like me working. We fought for awhile and soon he prevailed. And soon, Elizabeth, I found out I was pregnant with you. He told me once I became a mother the thought of being a doctor wouldn't even occur to me._ _Elizabeth as much as I loved being your mother, there was still this part of me that wanted to go back to my practice And if I did, I promise you if wouldn't have interfered in my life with you two. My family would have always come first. My family always came first. There is no way to start telling you this besides just saying it. I have everything detailed to you in the 2 journals under the veil in my trunk. _

Both looking at one another they lifted on their knees and peered inside. Lifting the veil from the contents the first thing that caught Elizabeth's eye was the 2 leather bound journals nestled in the corner.

…_There you will find everything that happened to me the four days you and your father were gone in the summer of 1878 visiting your grandmother. _

Pulling the journals from the chest she sat them on the floor. "What else?" She looked back to Jonathan. "What does she say?"

"That's it. Everything else picks up in the journal." Putting the letter back in the envelope he looked at his sister. "Are you going to be able to do this?"

Picking up the first journal she opened it to the first page. "As long as you stay with me and read it."

"Of course, you're my sister and as much as I almost feel as if I don't know her. She was our mother."

Smiling at her brother she squeezed his hand and took the ribbon from the first page and flipped it over. She swallowed and began her journey.

…._. It was the week of the fourth of July. You both left with your father to visit your grandmother in Portland. You were to be gone for four days…only four days…_

**Chapter 1**

…_As always your father was a last minute packer, and I found myself upstairs in our room, helping him fold his trousers into his carpetbag. Also, being as disheveled as he was, he haphazardly threw everything into the same bag, and I knew everything wasn't going to fit. _

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

Taking everything out of his bag, she began to refold his clothes. "I'm positive."

"And what are you going to do for four days by yourself?" He placed his hands on his hips.

"The same thing I do, just with less help." She rolled her eyes.

"Make sure to lock the door before you go to bed at night. Make sure all the animals are in the barn before dark. I don't want you walking through the field when you can't see."

"I'll be fine, Robert." She lightly kissed him on the cheek. "Now you better hurry or else you'll miss your train. And tell your mother I said hello."

Without returning her kiss, he grabbed the carpetbag from her hand and headed for the stairs. "Come on kids, we got to go!"

Michaela looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was thrown up in a bun, and a few stray gray hairs came loose. She was forty-two years old. But at times she felt much older. Turning to the side, she pushed a few wrinkles from her dress and hurried downstairs to see her family off.

………………………………….

"Bye Ma," both Elizabeth and Jonathan said, kissing her cheeks. "We'll be back in time for fireworks," Elizabeth told her.

"Can't wait." Michaela hugged her children. "I'll see you on Friday."

"Come on. We'll be late!" Robert called from the wagon. "You'll see your ma on Friday! Let's go!"

Watching the children run to the wagon, she smiled. 'Goodbye! Be good for your grandmother!"

"Bye, Ma!" they shouted.

Michaela watched as the wagon drove down the dirt path and onto the main road. Putting her hand to her forehead to block out the sun, she gave one last wave before she turned around. It was hot outside, but the trees gave off a nice breeze, and she reveled in the feeling of it whipping her skirt back and forth. She never put her stockings on that morning, so the breeze felt heavenly as it caressed her legs.

She pushed open the screen door, basking in the sounds of silence. "Four days…" she smiled.

…………………………………………….

"Jonathan, do you think mother was happy living with us?" Elizabeth looked up from the journal. "She seemed so happy to see us leaving."

"Of course she loved us. Just because she was happy to see us get out of her hair for a while doesn't mean she didn't love us. We liked to get away from them once in awhile too."

"I suppose." She was contrite. Turing back to the journal, she began to read.

………………………………………..

…_The next morning I woke up early, I knew there was much to be done, so I wanted to get a head start. I could tell the day was going to be dreadfully hot. I tried not to think about working all day in the hot sun, but I knew there was nothing I could do. The weeds had over-grown in the garden. Your father wanted half of the field plowed so when he came back he could start planting again. The cow needed to be milked and the chickens fed. Yes, I had a lot ahead of me. It was a little different only making breakfast for one person. But for the first time in twelve years, I was actually able to eat a hot meal. I didn't have to worry about washing the dishes right away, because it was only me. Quickly, I dressed and set out for work. _

_By the time three o'clock came, I knew I needed a break for a late lunch. It grew to be so hot that I began to feel faint as I plowed the fields. I went in and made myself some lunch. As I was finishing the last of my lemonade, I noticed a wagon coming up the way and pulling onto our property. Right away, I noticed it was a man by the way he was sitting, and as he got closer I could see his long hair and rugged appearance. He pulled his wagon on the side of our house and hopped down. _

"Ma'am." He tilted his head. "I'm afraid I'm lost."

"Are you supposed to be in Maine?"

"Ya."

"Well, then you're not that lost," she smiled.

Scratching his head, he looked around. "I'm looking Outlook Point."

"Well, you're pretty close. It's about two miles from here," she told him.

"Which way?" He grabbed his tablet.

Walking off the porch, she neared him. "Well you go that way." She pointed left. "And you'll pass Butlers."

"Butlers?" he questioned.

"Butlers. It's a small house close to the road. It has a big, mean, yellow dog. And then you'll turn right." Thinking for a moment, she realized she got confused. "No. No, I'm sorry. You turn left, and you take that road till you hit the fork. And it's only half a mile."

"Okay, which way when you hit the fork?"

"Left."

"Left…" he wrote it down.

"You'll pass Peterson's—it's a farm—and you'll turn right. It's past the school house, and you go up the trail."

"Alright…" He hoped he got it down right. Usually, he was so good with directions, but a few hours ago, he realized his map was useless.

"Um. I can take you if you want," she offered. "It's difficult when you don't know the roads."

He thought for a moment. "Well, I don't want to take you away from what you're doing."

"Oh. Oh, no. I was just taking a break. I'd be happy to show you. Let me just get my shoes."

He watched her as she walked back into the house, grateful that he found someone to help him out. Leaning against his wagon, he grabbed his canteen and took a swig of water. He hoped he'd run into a small lake so he could take a swim later on to cool himself down.

"Alright, I'm ready." She rolled her sleeves up.

Throwing his canteen in front, he helped her up into the wagon and jumped up. "Which way?"

"Out, and then take a left."

Moving to the side of the wagon, she folded her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I got your name."

"Sully," he said simply.

"Michaela." She smiled nervously. "So, Mr. Sully, why are you looking for Lookout Point?"

Slapping the reins for the horses to go faster, he turned to her. "I work for the government. I scout lands that could be used for national parks one day. I take photographs of them; send them t' Washington. I also do some paintin', but that's more of a hobby of mine."

"Well, Lookout Point is a lovely place. You can see the lighthouse in the distance. I've seen a few paintings taken from that view." Looking at the view around her, she took in a deep breath of fresh air.

Reaching over to grab his canteen that was at Michaela's feet, his hand lightly grazed her leg causing her to jump. "Sorry," he told her. "It's a hot one today. Is it always like this up here?"

"In the summers." She shook her head. "It can get quite hot."

"Do you go up to the point a lot?" he wondered.

"No. No, I really don't have the time. My children like to go up though."

"How long ya been married?"

"Oh. Fourteen years this December," she thought back. "Fourteen years. What about you, Mr. Sully? Are you married?"

"It's just Sully. And no, I'm not married. My wife passed away about four years ago." He looked down the road.

"I'm sorry." She looked away, feeling uncomfortable. "How did you get into working with the government and the national parks?"

"After my wife died, I decided to move back east. While I was in Washington, I met up with an old friend who had some ties with some senators, and he was telling me how they were lookin' for men to scout the land; men who were good with their hands and could draw. Had t' teach me how t' use the camera though. But I caught on fast. Been doin' this work for almost three years now."

"Sounds exciting. Being able to travel all over. Going to new places." She couldn't help but be enthralled.

"It's a good job, I enjoy it."

"We'll have to get out here and walk rest of the way up. The wagon won't make it up the trail."

"Alright. I'll leave my stuff in the back of the wagon." He glanced up at the sky. "The light's not right. I'll just plan out where I'm going to take my shots and do some prep work, so I'll be ready at day break."

Walking up the rugged terrain, Michaela was grateful the trail was in the shade. "Is this the only place in Augusta you're taking pictures?"

"No, I actually have one more place. A little island off the coast. Isle au Haut, I think it's called."

"I've never been there before. I've heard it's a beautiful little island though." Picking up her skirt, she walked around the large rocks, making sure she didn't slip.

"Have you lived in Maine your entire life?" he questioned.

"No. I used to live in Boston. But, my husband's family lives out here. His father owns a plantation in Portland, and he wanted to be near them, so we bought our farm here. He likes living out in the country."

"Do you like living out here?" he wondered, only hearing what her husband wanted.

"It's different than Boston." She tried to smile.

"I've been to Boston before." He turned around to look at her.

"Really?" She was surprised.

"Yep, Beacon Hill."

"Beacon Hill." Her face lit up. "That's where I grew up. I…I haven't been there in so long."

"It's a beautiful place. Spent all day in the common when I was there. Peaceful." Walking up to the clearing, he looked around, setting down his things."

"I'll wait. I'll wait till you're done. I…I don't mind," she told him.

"I'll start down there. About as good a place as any." Sully walked down a trailing path, setting up his surveying stick and measuring the distance.

Michaela walked around the base of the overlook. She watched Sully as he worked. Making circles, she didn't know why she felt nervous. What did she have to feel nervous about? Kicking a few rocks around, she looked over the edge and saw the stream that tucked around the bottom of the overlook. Jonathan liked to go fishing down there. "Sully, do you like—" Turning around, she didn't see him anywhere.

Walking down the path, she still didn't see him. Moving over to look in the bushes, she saw him squatting down and picking up flowers.

"You caught me," he laughed. "I was just picking you some flowers."

"Oh."

"Men still do that don't they? Picking a woman flowers to show her a sign of appreciation? You don't mind do ya?"

"No. No not at all, except those are poisonous." She held a deadpan expression.

Quickly, Sully dropped the flowers to the ground.

"Haha," Michaela covered her mouth. "I'm just kidding." She laughed harder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that." She bent over to pick them up. "I'm sorry."

Helping her gather the flowers, he smiled. "Well, I hope ya like them." He handed them back to her.

Holding them to her nose, she smelled them. "Thank you."

………………………………………

"I don't know if I trust that man," Jonathan remarked.

"Why not?"

"Picking Mother flowers. What's that? You shouldn't pick a married woman flowers."

"He was just being nice. Mother did show him how to get to Lookout Point. He was being a gentleman."

"I don't know," he sighed. "What happened next?"

………………………………………

Hopping down from the wagon, Michaela turned back to look at Sully.

"Well thank you for showing me up to the point. I really appreciate it," he nodded.

"You're welcome." She clenched the flowers in her hand. "I'm glad I could help you."

Sully smiled and nodded again. Turning around, Michaela started to walk back up toward the house, but then she turned back around. "Would…would you like to have some lemonade?"

Thinking for a moment, he smiled. "Sure. I'd like that." Jumping out of the wagon, he followed her into the house.

Walking through the front door, he looked around. "Ya have a nice home."

"Thank you. You may sit down." She pointed to the table and chairs. Taking a vase from underneath the sink, she filled it with water from the pump. Situating the flowers, she placed them on the table.

"Aren't ya afraid t' have those in here?" he joked.

Giggling, she set them in the center. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that." Her faced turned red. "So, where are you staying while you're here?"

"In town at Murray's Hotel. I haven't checked in yet. Wanted t' find out where I'd be shooting first."

"Oh. How long are you staying?" she wondered.

He thought for a moment. "About four or five days. A week maybe. Long as it takes to get the work done. So where is your family?" He looked around the empty house.

"They went up to Portland for a few days. My husband took them up to visit their grandmother." She smiled, handing him a glass of lemonade.

"How old are your kids?"

"Elizabeth is twelve, and Jonathan is eleven. They're not little kids any more." She raised her brow. "They're growing up before my eyes. Things change."

"They always do. One of the laws of nature," he smiled. "Most people are afraid of change. I hated to see the land change…what people would do with it. That's why I took my job. I'm tryin' t' preserve it."

Michaela smiled at him, admiring his optimism.

"But, now I look at it as something you can count on. It can be a comfort. There aren't many things you can count on." He took a drink of lemonade.

"I guess so." She bit her lip. "I'm one of those people that it frightens though, I think."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, from the big city of Boston to the country. That's a big change."

"Well, yes, but I wasn't by myself. I had Robert. Now the children."

"What's he like? Your husband?"

"Robert, he's…a good man. Hard worker, caring, honest." She looked down. "Good father."

"So I take it you like it all the way out here?"

Michaela looked down, not really knowing what to say. "Umm…"

"Go on," he laughed. "I'm not going to tell anyone."

She covered her face blushing, "What do you want me to say? It's great; the people are real nice." She shook her head. "And that's all true. It's quiet, and the people are nice. In certain ways. We all help each other out…" she trailed off.

Setting down his glass, he looked to her, trying to meet her eye. "But?"

Breathing out, Michaela sighed. She looked out the window before returning her gaze. "It's…it's not what I dreamed of as a girl."

Sully looked at Michaela, feeling a little sorry for her. He could tell that she wanted a little more out of her life than what she had here in Augusta. "I think I know how you feel," he told her. He had no idea why he was sharing so much with this woman that he just met. Never had he talked so much to one person.

Smiling, she felt at ease for the first time in awhile. "Would you like to stay for supper? There's not much of a selection in town. Not unless you go all the way into Augusta. And you'd have to eat alone," she laughed. "And so would I."

"I…I'd like that," he smiled.

…………………………………………

Walking up stairs to change, she turned into her bedroom and picked out a fresh dress. She looked out the window and saw Sully down by the well washing up. He tore off his shirt and placed it to the side. He dunked his hands in the bucket of cool water and began to wash his face. She stared at him a moment before she went back to changing. She fixed her hair and put in her favorite earrings. Spraying on a dab of perfume, she hurried back down stairs.

"There ya are." He sat at the kitchen table.

"Did you get cleaned up?" she asked.

"Yep, the heat out there ain't too forgivin'."

"I know." She rolled her eyes, making her way to the sink. She took the bowl full of fresh beans that she had picked this morning and placed them on the counter.

"Need any help?" he asked.

"Help? Help what? Cook?"

"Yeah."

"Umm. Y-yes." She moved over.

"What ya want me t' do?"

"Well, you can scrape the carrots." She handed him a knife.

"Okay." He began to cut off the skin. "Like this. How's that?"

"Umm." She shook her yes. "Good, very nice. Don't forget to pick off the ends, umm."

For a few minutes, they stood in silence next to one another, while he peeled the carrots and she snapped the beans, both lost in their own silences and private thoughts. Looking at the cupboard on the opposite side of Michaela, he saw the green onions. He went to reach for them, not noticing how uncomfortable Michaela was with him so close. "I can pull the ends off of these too," he smiled.

"Oh. Oh, yes. Alright." She looked at him biting her lip.

"How's this?"

"Yes, that's good. Just don't use your fingers. They'll make your hands smell." She made a face. "Here, I'll get you some lemon."

…………………………………………..

"I'm rather surprised at Mother," Elizabeth scrunched up her face. "Inviting a man she barely knows for dinner. That's not like her at all."

"I know." Jonathan got up. "Do…you think something happened? I mean, why do you think she is telling us all this? There has to be a reason."

Elizabeth scratched her head. "You're right. There has to be a reason."

"I swear, if he did something to her…" He started to pace.

"Jonathan, calm down. He's seems to be a really nice man. Come here; sit down." Picking the journal from her lap, she started to read again.

………………………………………….

Catching her breath, Michaela held her hands to her cheeks. "You're lying!" she laughed. "You're lying!"

"Nope, it chased me clear across the Colorado Territory. I guess it didn't like getting its picture taken!" Sully laughed with her. "No more bears for me," he smirked.

Letting out a breath, Michaela held onto her sides. She had never laughed so hard before. "You really love what you do, don't you?" she smiled.

"Yeah," he shook his head. "I do."

Leaning on her hands, she looked at Sully from across the table. "Tell me, what's the most exciting place you've ever been to?"

Sully groaned, thinking. "Most exciting, umm…" He took a drink of lemonade.

"Un…unless you're too tired." She glanced at the clock and began to fidget.

"If you're askin' a man if he's too tired to talk about himself," he laughed, "then you really don't get out much, do ya?"

Michaela looked down, placing her hands in her lap, not saying anything. She pinched the pleats in her skirt, feeling inadequate.

"I'm…I'm sorry." He could tell he hurt her. "I didn't mean it to sound like some dumb statement."

"No, No." She waved her hand. "I just meant…maybe it's dull for you to be sitting here in the middle of nowhere talking to some dull housewife."

"This is your home; this isn't nowhere," he told her.

Michaela smiled, looking down, her eyes filling with hope.

"I'd have to say the most exciting place would have t' be Yellowstone in Wyoming. It's beautiful. Trees and wildlife, far as the eyes can see. Mountains, valleys, and hot springs. Geysers that shoot up water a hundred feet. It's somethin'."

"I…I would love to see that." She cleared her throat, taking a drink of lemonade.

"Well there's trains that go straight through there. Ya could ask your husband." He eyed her.

"Yeah…" she swallowed.

Looking around, Sully glanced outside. "It's a beautiful evening out. Would ya like t' take a walk?"

Michaela smiled, "Mmm hmm…"

……………………………………………….

"You got it all right here, ya know?" They rounded the barn. "I'm serious. This is as nice of a place as I've ever been."

"Ummm…" Michaela strolled next to Sully, her hands resting behind her back. "So, where do you go after you leave Augusta?"

"I'm not sure. My boss hasn't told me yet. Depends on how he likes my work while I'm out here. I might get a break," he laughed.

Slapping her arm to kill a mosquito, Michaela sighed. "I'm getting eaten alive out here. It must be my perfume."

"Must be. They ain't touchin' me," he laughed. "Let's turn back."

They both turned around. "Wasn't much of a walk," she laughed. "Sorry."

"It's alright. I figure we did enough walkin' today," he smiled.

"That's true." She looked up at the sky, seeing the stars. "Would…would you like something to drink? More lemonade, coffee perhaps?"

"Coffee would be nice."

"Alright."

Stepping onto the porch, Sully opened the screen door for her. "Thanks," she smiled. Turning up the lamps, she put the kettle on the stove to warm up. "I baked some cookies last night." She set them on the table.

"Oatmeal," he smiled. "My favorite."

Moving back to the sink, she looked out the window, a strange feeling coming over her. She filled the sink up with water and submerged the plates inside.

"Do you want me to help you wash them?"

"Oh. No. No, I'm not going to wash them. I'm going to soak them. I'll wash them later." She continued to look out the window.

"Michaela…"

"Umm…" She didn't look up.

"Michaela?" Sully got up from the table, walking toward her.

"What?"

"We're not doing anything wrong, ya know? Nothing you couldn't tell your children about." He handed her a cookie.

She took it, eyeing him before she took a bite. They both stood in silence, looking out the window. A million things ran through Michaela's head before she moved to the stove, picking up the pot and taking two cups from the shelf. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" She sat down.

"No." He sat down opposite from her.

"Do you ever get lonely traveling so much?"

"Nah, I don't fall into that. I got friends all over that I can visit from time to time."

"You really don't need anyone?" she questioned.

"I like meetin' new people different from myself. I like t' meet them all." He took a sip of coffee.

"That's the problem out here. You tend to meet the same kind of person over and over and over again. So when Mrs. Delany's husband has an affair with the Richardson woman, the whole town wakes up."

"Ohh…" he swallowed down his coffee.

"So, it doesn't scare you though, being alone?"

"I don't think so. I'm used to it now."

"Do you want to settle down and have a family again?" she wondered.

Sully stiffened. "Not everyone is meant to have a family."

"But…but how can you live like that, just yourself? What about other people?" She shook her head, trying to understand; trying to remember what it was like when she used to be on her own.

"I told you. I like other people. But, I like bein' by myself."

"But it's not the same," she tried to make him see.

"I know it's not the same, but what you're sayin' is that it's not good, it's not normal, it's not proper." He sat down his cup.

"No." She shook her head. "No, that's not what I'm saying."

"See, I have this problem with what people think is normal or that they think they should follow some code for the way it's suppose t' be. Everyone's different. You probably think I'm some poor, lost man that's just wondering around, lookin' for what's missin in my life. You pity me, 'cause my wife died, and now I'm just wandering."

Pushing her cup away, Michaela looked at him in the eye. "You know, just because someone wants to settle down and raise a family doesn't mean that they're following some sort of rule book. Perhaps they're just doing what they want to do. Just because I've never seen some geyser in Yellowstone doesn't mean I'm asleep in my life." She looked away.

"Do you wanna leave your husband?"

She looked up at him, the question catching her off guard. "No!" She got up. "Of course not."

"I'm…I'm sorry." He held up his hand, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I apologize."

She placed her hands on the counter, pushing her body away, looking at the ground. "What made you ask me a question like that?"

"I'm sorry. I thought that's what we were doing…asking questions. It was dumb. I'm sorry."

"No, I thought we were having a conversation, but you're asking me all these questions. Reading meanings into meanings. Maybe you think I'm just too simple to understand. But you know what? I'm not! I was a-"

"No, no." He got up. "I'm sorry. I told you I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry." He looked at her for understanding. Placing his cup in the sink, he turned back to her. "Well, Outlook Point at dawn. I gotta get going."

"Look." She pushed back a stray lock of hair. "I'm sorry."

"No, I told ya I was sorry. I mean it," he smiled. "It's late."

Turning around, Michaela followed him to the door. "I feel like something's been spoiled now."

Walking back to her, he smiled, "No, it was a perfect evening just the way it was." They both looked at one another. Realizing how close they were, Sully backed up. "Thanks for dinner and the coffee; the company. You're a good woman, Michaela." He opened the door and stepped out. "Oh, and Michaela? You're anything but a simple woman."

…………………………………………..

Elizabeth and Jonathan both looked at one another. "What was that!" she closed the journal. "Why would he even ask her that?"

"I told you this guy was trouble." He clenched his fist. "Asking her if she wanted to leave father. Who the hell does he think he is?"

"There's…There is something more going on. You see how Mother is reacting to him?"

"She afraid of him!"

"No, she's arguing back. She's standing up for herself. But yet, she's also giving in." Elizabeth found it weird.

"Well, he's obviously enamored with Mother."

"She's not doing much to fight it off," Elizabeth told him.

"Elizabeth, you know Mother was pretty. More than pretty. And she was kind. He's taking advantage of her."

She looked off. "There's just something more to this. I…I think she feels something for him."

"Feels something for him?! Elizabeth!"

"Jonathan, she takes him to Overlook Point, asks him to stay for dinner, a walk, coffee. Have you known her to ever do that before?"

Landing in the chair, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're crazy; you know that. You're crazy."

"Fine, I'll just see what Mother says." Picking up the journal, she began to read once more.

………………………………………….

_I sat on the porch that night after Sully left. Thunder was rumbling in the distance, and a delicious breeze was coming in. After I finished reading, I stood at the edge of the porch and opened my robe, letting the wind rip though my flesh. I felt more alive at that moment than I had in a long time. Something came over me when I met Sully. I didn't know what it was at the time. But I grew to learn. What I did know was I wanted to see him again. And for the first time since moving to Augusta, I got in the wagon and drove toward Outlook Point. At night; alone. I found the spot Sully stood at earlier in the day, where he was setting up his prep work, and I stuck a note to the tree. Driving back home that night, I recounted the events of the day, hoping tomorrow would be just as nice. Never did I expect what would happen. _

_**I had a lovely day. It's been awhile since I've had interesting "conversation." I'd like to meet with you again. So if you would like to have dinner again, with a not so simple woman, I just so happen to be available. I know you have to work, so any time is fine with me.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_I awoke the next morning at around six, and as I lay in bed, I heard a wagon toddling down the road, and I knew it was Sully. "Outlook Point at dawn," I could hear him say in my head. The sheets were sticking hard to my body, and I knew it was going to be another hot day. Sometime during the night, it got so hot I tore off my nightgown, and I saw it lying discarded next to me. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept without any clothes on. As I turned over in bed, I saw the empty place next to me, and something washed over me. Even thought Robert was not there, it didn't feel any different. If I was to close my eyes and open them again, and he was there, it would still feel the same-empty. _

_Robert only liked to make love once every few months, and it'd been like that even since we'd been married. I suppose that's normal; I'm not sure. It's not anything that's talked about. I just know that everything my mother has told me deemed to be true. Part of me feels sad: was that supposed to be a joy of marriage? Or was it something that just came with it? When we did make love, it was over fast, rudimentary, and unmoving, and he didn't seem interested. I didn't know if that was how it was suppose to be. My head told me that making love was something that just filled the urge that men seemed to have. But in my heart, I felt like it was to mean something more, much more. _

_I dressed and got ready for the day. As I was downstairs, I kept staring at the telephone. I wondered if your father or one of you would call. I thought back to the day—a year before— when your father came home and said that we were getting a telephone. He said that he was getting it so I could talk to your grandmother in Boston, but I knew he was getting it because his own father insisted. Not many people we knew had one. They were quite expensive and had only been brought into existence a year before; the only places that had them here were the hotels in town and some of the shops and banks. I remember how proud your father was when we received ours. I couldn't help but laugh at thinking how normal they would be back in Boston. _

_I quickly got ready and set out to do the chores. I wanted to be ready if Sully was to come for dinner again that night. I had worked hard most of the morning, and I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that maybe Sully hadn't seen my letter; that perhaps it had blown away in the middle of the night. I had a feeling that I might never see him again. It was then, while I was feeding the chickens, that I heard the high-pitched bell of the telephone, and I panicked. I picked up my skirt and rushed into the house through the back door. _

"Hello?" Michaela said into the box, as she placed the bell to her ear.

"Michaela? It's Sully."

Michaela's insides jumped again, just like they had yesterday—little stab of something that started in her chest and plunged to her stomach. "How…how did you get to a telephone?"

She heard Sully laugh on the other end. "They have one here at the hotel. The switchboard connected me to you."

"Oh," she smiled.

"I just wanted to tell you that I got your note, and…and I would like to come and meet you for dinner again. But it might be kind of late. The weather's good, and I want to head down to Crystal Lake. I saw it on the way here, and I wanna take some more pictures of that. I wanna get it while the sun is settin'. It might be after nine after I'm finished. And then, I'll want to clean up a bit. So it might not be till nine-thirty or ten. Is that alright?"

No, it wasn't all right. Michaela didn't want to wait that long, but she only said, "That's fine. Get your work done. That's what's important. I'll fix something that's easy to warm up when you get here."

"Michaela," he hesitated.

"Yes?"

"If you want to come along while I'm shooting, that's fine. It won't bother me. I could stop by for you about five-thirty."

Michaela's mind worked overtime. She wanted to go with him. But what if someone saw her? What would she say to Robert if he found out? Crystal Lake was down around the base of Outlook Point. Not many people passed by it during the day. It was also surrounded by many trees, so she wouldn't be that noticeable. Or would she? In less than two seconds, she decided. "Yes, I like that. But I'll take my wagon and meet you there. What time?"

"About six. I'll see you then. Okay?"

"See you then. Bye, Sully."

"Bye."

Hanging the cord back on the telephone box, Michaela leaned against the wall. A smile swept the left side of her face, and she bit her lip. Looking across the kitchen, an idea came to her. She pushed herself off the wall and moved to the cupboards and pulled out a small tin that was sitting behind all the cups and saucers. She pulled off the lid and poured out the money that she had been saving. She counted it up and put it in her pocket. She grabbed her shoes quickly and headed out the door.

……………………………………………….

Elizabeth closed the journal and sat it down on the chair before waking to the kitchen.

"Elizabeth?" Jonathan called after her. "Elizabeth?" Getting up, he followed her into the kitchen and saw her at the sink, looking out the window.

"It's like I don't even know her, Jonathan. It's like I don't even know her." She closed her eyes. "She knows what she's doing."

Moving next to the sink, he looked at her. "I never realized how unhappy mother was. She never let on. But to never love father-"

"Oh, I believe she loved father." She shook her head. "It was just a comfortable love. Sort of like James and I." She looked down.

"Sis." His brow furled. "I didn't know that-"

"Please." She held her hand out. "Don't. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I made my choices."

"Elizabeth-"

"Jonathan, not…not now." She moved to sit at the table. "I don't know if I can read anymore. I can see where this is going."

Jonathan's face turned pale. "You…you don't think that Mother had an affair with him, do you?"

Elizabeth pursed her lips and stared blankly ahead. "She already is…in her mind."

Giving his sister a look, he went back in the living room, picked his mothers journal up, and brought it in the kitchen. "I'll read."

…………………………………………

_I took the wagon and drove the ten miles into Augusta. It seemed like it was so long since I've been into town. Augusta had flourished so much in ten years that it could be compared to the likes of Boston, only on a smaller scale. I walked into William Cotter and Sons, and my eyes grazed over all the beautiful dresses. Dresses that I used to wear all the time in Boston now seemed so foreign to me. I thumbed through them all, and a tickle of delight coursed through my body. I knew that I had to pick a simple dress; nothing too fancy. It was just dinner in my own kitchen after all. But I couldn't help but admire them all just the same. I found a beautiful, cornflower blue dress and glanced at the price tag. I sighed, thinking it would cost almost all I had. But I held it up to me in the mirror, and I couldn't help but smile. I wanted it. _

_I paid for the dress and realized that it was almost five o'clock. I knew that I had to hurry. The entire way home, my mind was in the clouds, and I just enjoyed the silence of nature. As I pulled up to the house, I heard the phone ringing. I quickly jumped out of the wagon, ran into the house, and picked up the phone._

"Michaela, its Sully."

Michaela's stomach tightened as she thought. _He can't come; he's calling to say that._

"Michaela, I need t' ask ya somethin'," he told her.

"What…what's that?"

"If it's a problem for you to come out with me tonight, given the town and all, don't feel pressured to do it. I don't care what they think of me around here, and one way or another, I'll come by later."

"Sully I-"

"Michaela," he cut her off. "While I was in town getting lunch, I ran into Mrs. Richardson. Folks weren't to kind to her. And the man at the general store was more than happy to fill me in about the whole…situation."

Michaela rolled her eyes. "Mr. Brays running for town crier next year."

"What I'm trying to say is that I might have made an error in askin' ya to come with me, so don't feel that you gotta. Though I'd love to have ya come along."

She'd been thinking about that all afternoon, but she had decided. "No, I'd like to see you do your work. I'm not worried about talk." She was worried, but something in her had taken hold, something to do with risk. Whatever the cost she was going out to Crystal Lake.

"Great. Just thought I'd check. See ya later."

"Alright." He was sensitive, but she already knew that.

_I went upstairs to get ready. I was going to wear the same thing that I wore out to Augusta, but I knew that I sweat too much in the sun on the way out there. So, I pulled the emerald green dress from the closet. It was always one of my favorites, and it fit just right. I think I looked in the mirror more that afternoon than I had in my entire life. I put my hair up in a more fashionable style than I had in years, and for the second time in two days, I dabbed a little perfume behind my ears and rushed back down the stairs. _

_I pulled a few things out I knew I would need for dinner and set them on the counter. I opened the linen closet and pulled out a white tablecloth my Mother had given me years before. I set two candles out, brought the china out, and set it on the counter. I didn't notice till later, but I hummed happily the entire time. Giving one last glace in the mirror, I picked up my purse and headed for the wagon._

_I can't even tell you all of the things that were running through my mind as I rode out to see Sully. I knew everything I was thinking was wrong. But at that moment, I didn't care. I was happy that I was going out to the lake to see another man. I was happy that I was going to have a conversation, and I was happy that I was going to have a nice dinner. In my mind, I felt that I deserved it. And I was going to go and have a nice time. _

_I rounded the edge of the lake, and I saw Sully's wagon parked under a tree, but I didn't see him. I jumped down and walked around the waters edge. The flowers and trees were in full bloom, and everything looked so beautiful. I figured that he was somewhere close, finishing up, so I sat down on a rock and looked into the water. I was completely in my own thoughts, and I didn't hear him come up._

"Don't move." Sully set the camera down next to her and put in the plate. "Stay still."

"Sully!" she jumped. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to take your portrait."

"Oh Sully, no." She started to move. "Don't."

"Come on." He held his hand out. "Just for fun. Sit back down."

"Sully, I don't know," she blushed.

"Sit down," he smiled. "The lights perfect."

She hesitated only a second and sat back down on the rock. "What…what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. Just sit there and look back into the water like ya were doin'."

Putting the plate in, he looked in the box to make sure she was in focus and then turned to look at Michaela once more. She looked beautiful; almost angelic, as she looked in the water. He admired her a few moments, till he went over to her. His hand went to her back. "Can ya move a little bit that way? I want t' get some of the flowers behind ya."

His touch sent shivers up Michaela's spine, and it jolted her from her thoughts. "Oh. Oh, yes," she blushed. "Like this?" She looked to him.

"Perfect," he smiled.

Taking one last look through the lens, he took the cap off, counted to seven, and then covered it back up. "All done," he smiled.

"Do…do you think it will turn out?" She was curious.

"It will look beautiful," he smiled.

Michaela smiled back, his comment causing her to blush. "So what do you have to do?"

"Well, I just want to take a few pictures of the lake, a few of the land. This is mostly for my benefit. I want to remember it just the way it is. I want to be able to paint it some day."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" She looked around.

"Umm…you can carry my knapsack over there, and I'll carry my tripod. I wanna go over to the end of the lake. I think the best view is over there."

"Alright," she followed him.

"I'm afraid this might be a little boring for you. At least other people usually think so. There's not much to do besides watch me," he laughed. "You'll see a lot of fiddling around. But you're more than welcome," he smiled. "In fact, I'm glad you came."

Michaela hung on his last four words. He didn't need to have said them. He could have stopped at welcome, but he didn't. He was genuinely glad to see her, that was clear. "I don't think what you do is boring. Not only are you creating works of art, but you're doing a great service to our country. You're preserving the land for our grandchildren. There's nothing boring about that."

Turning, Sully smiled at her. Never before had a woman captured his heart with mere words. There was something special about this woman. And he hoped he'd be able to find out what it was.

_So that was the day I became a photographer's assistant. We spent three hours at the lake that evening. It was nothing short of magical. I never learned so much about one person in a single sitting. Sully was so easy to talk to, and I found we shared many similar interests and hobbies. He showed me how the camera worked, and I was even able to take a picture of a deer that was drinking at the base of the lake. I basked in everything that evening, and wild thoughts crossed my mind. I knew when we were sitting on the ground at the water's edge that something was happening. We were sitting so close, and our shoulders were touching. And I found myself leaning closer to him so the contact wouldn't break. I even surprised myself, when I touched his hand, when he said something funny. We both looked at one another, but neither of us pulled away._

_On the way home, he told me about his life in the West, I could tell that is where his heart laid. He wanted to go back to Colorado, I could tell. My heart broke for him, when he told me that his wife died during childbirth, and he was never able to see his baby. No one should ever have to go through that, I thought, no one. Especially Sully. What drew me in was his optimism and charm. Even though horrible things happened to him, he was still able to keep a grasp on life and be a wonderful man. He wasn't full of hate, but full of love. _

_When we arrived, home I asked him if he wanted to freshen up, and he said yes. I brought him to our room, where the basin was, and he took a bath. I took his clean clothes and laid them out on the bed for him. He had brought dress pants and a clean white shirt. I never thought a rugged man like Sully would bring such nice clothes with him. I held them to my nose for a moment, breathing in his masculine scent. I could hear him washing behind the door and the water dripping in the tub. It was all too much for me, so I went into the kitchen to check on dinner. _

_The table was already set from earlier before, and the stove was now hot enough to set the stew upon. I opened the range, set the biscuits in, and closed the door. Soon, I heard Sully's footsteps as he reached the kitchen. He was wearing his clean clothes, and his hair was slightly damp. He smiled at me and asked if he could do anything to help. I told him no and that I had everything under control; dinner would be ready in half and hour, and I was going to go take a bath as well. He told me that he was going to get some photographs that he stored in his wagon that he thought I might like. _

_As I lay in the tub, I realized that he had just been lying in it minutes before, and that seem remarkably sensual to me. Everything about Sully was starting to seem sensual to me, and I blushed. I wondered why I didn't feel that way toward Robert. Part of it, I knew, was because of inertia-protracted custom. All marriages, all relationships are susceptible to that. Custom brings predictability, and predictability carries its own comforts. I was aware of that, too. Maybe that was why I was attracted to Sully. He was different, and I didn't know what would happen. It was that risk I was taking again. _

_I got out of the tub and dried off. I slipped into my new dress and fashionably pulled my hair up with a sliver clip. I opened my jewelry box and found a matching pair of earring. It had been so long since I'd worn any jewelry. I put on a little lip rouge and pinched my cheeks for color. Again, I looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled, thinking that I hadn't looked that nice in ages. _

_I slowly walked back in the kitchen, not knowing where Sully was going to be. But as soon as I entered the kitchen, there he was sitting at the table._

Sully looked up as Michaela entered the kitchen, and he was speechless. All of the feelings; all of the longings of a lifetime came together at that moment. And he fell in love with Michaela, a farmers' wife of Augusta, Maine, long ago from Boston.

"W-what's wrong?" she asked.

He moved closer to her. "Y-you look beautiful. If you don't mind me sayin' so."

Michaela closed her eyes, sighing. When she opened her eyes again, she noticed the phonograph was on. "Music?" she smiled.

"Thought it might be nice. You don't mind?"

"Not at all." She walked in the kitchen. "It's nice. It's my favorite." She liked the soft sound.

They both stared at one another, drinking in their thoughts of one another till the telephone rang. Michaela sighed, not wanting to move. She looked at the phone, but her feet didn't move.

"Ya gonna answer that?" he wondered.

"Oh. Oh, yes." She shook her head. She moved across the kitchen to answer the telephone, as Sully sat at the table in front of her. "Hello? Oh, hi Anna. Yes, I'm fine. Thursday night? Well, I don't know. I'll be busy trying to get stuff done before Robert and the children come home. Mmm…Friday. Yes, yes." She was standing by the door to the porch, and he was sitting within touching distance of her. She reached out her hand and began to fix the collar on his shirt. "I went into Augusta this afternoon. I had some shopping to do. "Oh, a photographer huh? He was in town?" Lightly, she rested her hand on his shoulder in the casual way that some women have with the men they care for. In twenty-four hours, she had come to care for Sully.

"Actually, Anna, I was just going to go and take a bath. It's been a long day. Mmm…" As her hand lay on his shoulder, she could feel the muscle running from his neck along his shoulder, just to the back of his collarbone. She was looking down at his hair and saw how it drifted down his collar. "Alright, I will. Tell Steven that I said hello. Yes, you too. I will. Bye." Hanging the bell of the telephone back on the box, she turned back around, her hand still resting on his shoulder. She could feel the warmth of his body through his shirt, and it went though her hand and up her arm.

This mere touch was Sully's undoing, and he boldly took his own hand and covered hers. Pulling her around, he stood up, and now they were standing face to face, and they could feel each other's breaths. "W-would you like to dance?" he asked. "I'm…I'm not much of a dancer though," he added.

"I…I haven't danced in so long. But, I would like too."

Sully took her left hand in his and placed his other around her waist. Pulling her into him slightly, they began to sway softly to the music. At first, they felt awkward, but after a few spins in the tiny kitchen, it all but vanished. Everything worked in an easy kind of way. He moved his arm farther around her waist and pulled her closer. Michaela could smell him, and he could her. They danced slowly, not moving far in any direction. She could feel his legs against hers, and their stomachs touch occasionally. Her breathing slowed, and she felt safe and comfortable in his arms.

Neither of them heard the song end or the static of the phonograph die out; they were too wrapped up in one another. Lightly, Michaela placed her head on Sully's chest, and he brought his arms fully around her. His hands brushed the back of her exposed neck, feeling her soft skin and, her hands dipped slowly in his shirt, feeling his heartbeat. He felt so good to her, and she knew she never wanted it to end. She had become a woman again. There was room to dance again.

It was hot; the humidity rose in the house, as thunder rumbled in the distance, and heat lighting illuminated the sky. He was falling into her now and she into him. She moved her cheek away from his and looked into his blue eyes, seeing her reflection, and he ever so slowly moved over her and kissed her, and she kissed back. They were soft, sensual, feather light kisses. He kissed her cheeks, the side of her mouth, and then fully on the lips. They gave up the dancing, and her arms went around his neck, and his around her waist.

"Michaela…" he breathed into her cheek, kissing her again. He kissed her neck and jawbone and then looked into her eyes. "If you want me to stop, tell me now."

She brought her hands to his cheeks and looked at him in the eyes. "No one's asking you to."

Bringing his lips down to hers, they began to sway again, kissing one another repeatedly. Their noses and cheeks touched. Their stomachs and thighs touched. Their lips touched. They turned around in small circles, totally consumed in one another. Michaela could feel him leading her into the other room. He took her hand, squeezing it into her own and led her into the living room. A small fire was dying, and even though it was hot outside, the fire felt nice. Sully looked at Michaela in the firelight, and he knew he never saw anyone more beautiful. He reached out and slowly pulled the clip from her hair. He watched, as her hair tumbled down her back and cascaded around her shoulders. He didn't know it was so long and beautiful. It was another thing about her that stunned him. He reached out and touched her hair, letting it slip through his fingers. It was so fine and soft, and the scent so intoxicating.

Sully wrapped his arms around Michaela, and slowly they made their way down to the rug. Still kissing, Michaela could feel Sully's hands wandering around her body. Up and down her back. Up and down her sides. Through her hair and on her face. He was invoking such feelings in her that she couldn't put them into words. Boldly, she opened her mouth to him, drawing the kiss in deeper. She could feel his tongue slowly touch her lips and dip into her mouth. Never had she kissed anyone that way or been kissed in return. She was quickly losing herself to him.

She felt Sully's hands move from her waist to the buttons on the front of her dress. He undid the first one and then the second, and before she knew it, she felt his hands touch the flesh just above her breasts, and it made her jump. Pulling away, Sully looked at her. He really looked at her, and he knew. "There's nothin' to be afraid of. I won't hurt you…but if you want me to stop, I will."

She looked at him and swallowed. "I am scared. I'm scared, because I've never felt this way before. And I'm scared that I'll never feel this way again. I…I don't want to stop. But…but you just have to know that I'm not used to this. I…I don't know what I'm doing."

"I've never felt like this either," he told her truthfully. "I want to be with you, Michaela."

Michaela saw such desire in his eyes, and she knew hers matched. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips. "Go…go slow."

He took her hand in his and kissed her palm then the back of her hand. He kissed her on the lips one more time and slowly undid each and every button on her dress, drawing it away from her body. She watched as his eyes roamed, and she wished she knew what he was thinking. She tried to stop her hands from shaking, as she brought them up to undo the buttons of Sully's shirt. "It's okay," he smiled, taking her hands in his, helping her undo the buttons. He drew the white shirt from his body and tossed it aside.

Sully's torso gleamed in the firelight, and Michaela ran her hands up his chest, kissing him ever so lightly. She could feel his body heat, and it made her quiver. She felt Sully's hands on her shoulders, pushing her gently on her back. His body covered hers, as he buried his face in her neck, applying soft, tickling kisses. She ran her hands through his hair, drawing his head downward to kiss her chest. His hands fumbled for the ribbons that tied her camisole in place. Undoing them one by one, he watched as more and more of her body appeared to him. Slowly, he pushed back both sides of her camisole and brought his head down to lightly kiss her breasts.

Michaela's breath caught in the back of her throat. Never had anyone kissed her the way Sully was kissing her. Never had anyone touched her the way Sully was touching her. She moved so her camisole would drop from her body and land with rest of their clothes. Closing her eyes, she boldly reached for Sully's belt and loosened it from his waist, drawing it outward. She unbuttoned his trousers and slowly pulled them from his body, and in a matter of seconds, he was revealed to her. She looked into his eyes, and she knew there was no going back.

Sully's hands were at her waist, and she felt them immerse inside, bringing them down from the inside, so his hands could touch her. From her waist to her hips, and down her thighs and legs he touched, and soon his lips followed. She knew it was the single most sensual experience she ever felt. Their bodies were unclothed and touching, and it was all she could do to bring them closer.

He continued to kiss her, because he could tell she was enjoying it. He knew that she had been neglected through the years, and it broke his heart. He knew hers had been shattered, and he would do anything to make her feel safe and loved. He hovered over her, and he saw her smile. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone look more beautiful than you do at this moment. I want to remember you like this for the rest of my life."

Michaela positioned her body under Sully's and wrapped her arms around his back, pulling him down to her. And he knew it was her invitation for more intimate contact. He drew his hands down her waist and rested them on her thighs, slowly pulling them apart. "Slowly…" Michaela closed her eyes before feeling Sully's lips touch her again.

Sully felt her breath quickening against his lips, and he knew she was still a little scared, but he wanted to please her. He wanted to show her what she'd been missing. He wrapped her leg around his waist, as he slowly entered her. He heard her gasp, and he quickly started to withdraw from her, but her hand pushed his backside into her. "Don't stop," she breathed into his mouth. "I'm…I'm alright."

His hand began to caresses her thigh, as he started a slow, loving rhythm. She basked in the feeling of his chest moving slowly back and forth from her stomach to her breasts and back again. Not only did she feel him inside of her, she felt the pictures, she felt the exotic lands, she felt the music, she felt Boston, and she felt home. His thrusts soon became quicker, and she moved with him, and before she knew what was happening, her hands grasped the rug beneath her. "Oh. Oh, Sully…" Her feet pinched and curled, and she wrapped her other leg around his waist, bringing him in closer and deeper. "Oh God! Oh...Sully!"

"M-Michaela…" He rolled onto his back, bringing her on top of him. Her legs framed his hips, bringing waves of pleasure to Sully. "Michaela...God, Michaela, I've waited forever for you." He sought her lips, arching himself up and then tumbling back onto Michaela's body. They kissed over and over, never tiring of the feeling.

Sully was breaking the routine of hammering sameness she had felt for the past fifteen years. She would never be able to explain what she felt during the time her and Sully made love. And the only word that would come to her mind would be magical. Everything about him was magical. He took her to magical places that you could only admire in his photographs. Places that you couldn't grasp with your mind or only feel with your heart.

Sully rolled on his side, taking Michaela with him, both vainly trying to catch their breaths. "I knew it…I knew it would be like that for us." Sully squeezed her closer to his body. He felt her quake in his arms and sniffle. He turned to look at her face in the firelight, as the tears were falling from her eyes. "Michaela, what's wrong? Did…did it hurt?"

"No. No" She shook her head. "Sully." She took his hand. "I've never felt that way before. Never. I felt everything I knew you were suppose to feel. I knew there was more. I knew it."

Sully nuzzled himself into her body. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, and they watched the fire die out together. It was a long time before either of them spoke.

"Take me someplace, mmm…right now." She brought her hand up to stroke his arm. "Take me someplace you've been. Tell me about it."

He thought for a moment, kissing her neck. "How about Boston?"

"Uh-huh." She shook her head smiling.

"Beacon Hill," he murmured.

"Tell me about when you were there. Where you went. What you did."

"Well, I got off the train at Boston North Station. I was really tired, but I wanted to get something to eat. I stopped at the little café, you know the one down by the common?"

"Mmm… The Gatehouse."

"The Gatehouse," he remembered. "I sat down. The one little table in the corner under the umbrella. I had coffee there."

"I've sat there Sully. I used to read at that table for hours by myself. I would often gaze down at the common."

Sully looked down at Michaela and had the need to kiss her anew. His kisses were soft, lightly grazing her face till they claimed her lips. Over and over they kissed, the feeling new each and every time they touched. Pulling back, Michaela looked at him. "Y-you made me forget my story…"

_Sully and I made love over and over that night, and I had thoughts of him that I didn't even know what to do with, and he read every one. Whatever I felt; whatever I wanted, he gave himself up to. And in that moment, everything that I knew to be true about myself, up until then, was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more like myself than ever before. We laid in the bathtub together in the wee ours of the morning. Never did I think of making love anywhere but in a bed behind closed doors. Sully changed all that. I let myself be free, not thinking about tomorrow or the day after. I was living in the moment, and in that moment, I was in love with a man that had captured my very soul. I was in love. I was in love with a man that wasn't my husband. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Elizabeth and Jonathan sat at the kitchen table. And when Jonathan looked up he saw his sister in tears. "Lizzie," he went to her side. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know this woman! I don't! I don't!" she cried. "I can't believe that she did this. She knew him for a day, Jonathan. She knew him for a day!"

"He seduced her with candlelit dinners, soft music, taking her down to the water."

"Oh wake up, Jonathan!" she wiped away her tears. "She wanted it. She practically threw herself at him. She wanted it as much as he did!"

"I don't know what to think anymore," Jonathan got up and looked out the window. "I guess I just don't understand how she could do that to father. He was good to her. He gave her what she wanted."

"Apparently not everything…" she rolled her eyes.

Jonathan cringed at the thought. "I…I loved mother. She was wonderful. She did everything for us, everything." Jonathan took a moment to reflect. "I don't think I ever thanked her enough for what she did. I don't think either of us did."

Elizabeth's eyes shot up. "So you're saying this is our fault? We're the reason she sought another man's bed?"

"No! Lizzie, I'm saying that maybe she never felt appreciated or loved as much as she wished. And…and perhaps this Sully made her feel special and loved. Father was never an overly affectionate person. And maybe that's all she wanted. I can't say that's a horrible thing."

"So, you think that what she did was all right? You're going to condone what she did? You think it's alright she committed adultery?"

"You know that's not what I'm saying. It's just that they way she writes it. The way everything is happening it doesn't seem like she's having an affair. It seems like she's falling in love….for the first time. And who am I to say that's wrong?"

Elizabeth wiped the tears from her eyes. "Do you think that she kept seeing him? I mean once we came back? Did they stay in contact?"

"Well," he opened the journal and pushed it toward her. "There's only one way to find out."

………………………………………….

_We decided to spend the next day away from Augusta, away from photography and farms--people too familiar--and reminders to painful._ _We let the day take us where it wanted. We took the back roads all the way to the shore line. I was able to sit close to him. I was able to link my arm through his and lean my head on his shoulder. I was able to believe we were a happy couple enjoying a day together. We talked of everything and nothing at the same time. When we got to the shoreline Sully surprised me by chartering a small sail boat. He was taking me to Isle au Haut, a little island off the coast of Maine._

_I hope this is all starting to come together for you two. Elizabeth, do you remember all the times you asked to wear that blue dress of mine and I always said no. To me it was like you were asking to wear my wedding dress just to go to tea. And Jonathan, all the times you wanted to go sailing up the coast and stop at the Haut. I'm sorry but I just wasn't strong enough to go back. I'm sorry that I was selfish and I couldn't share it with you. But I just couldn't go through the pain of being places like that without Sully. I'm sorry. _

_The day Sully and I spent on the Haut was nothing short of magical. As soon as we stepped off the boat, I knew the day would change my life._

"Watch your foot," Sully held his hand out to help Michaela down. "I don't want ya trippin' on me," he smiled.

"Oh, I don't know if that would be so bad." Michaela stood on her toes to give Sully a sweet kiss. "Do you think?"

"On second though," he raised his brow. "It would let me put my arms around ya. And it would let me hold ya like this," he swung her around.

"Sully stop!" Michaela giggled. "I'm going to get sick!"

"Well we don't want that," he set her on her feet. "Come on, over here."

"Where are we going?" she looked around the vast island.

"Come sit over here," he spread out a blanket. "I wanna show ya something."

Michaela sat on the blanket and watched as Sully pulled a large envelope from his bag. He opened the flap and poured out a dozen pictures. "I thought you might like to look at some of these. There pictures I've taken from all over. And some portraits of people, too."

"Oh Sully," she picked them up looking at each one. "How beautiful, these mountains. And the vast fields. I wish I could go there some day." She spread the pictures out on the blanket. Picking up a portrait, she looked at him. "Who's that?"

Sully smiled, "That's Cloud Dancing. He's a medicine man in the Cheyenne nation."

Michaela looked up at Sully. "I…I used to be a doctor," she told him blankly.

"What?" he was surprised. "You…you used to be a doctor?"

"Mmm…before I was married."

Sully was flabbergasted. "But, why did you stop? A doctor Michaela, that's great."

Michaela looked away. "When we got married Robert didn't like me working. I told him I didn't want to stop. I was serious about that. I worked so hard for my degree. I worked so hard," tears came to her eyes. "Soon after we married we moved here to Augusta and there were already doctors here and I soon became pregnant with Elizabeth. Robert convinced me I could never be a doctor and mother. I felt guilty for wanting both."

"Oh, Michaela," he cupped her cheek.

"Sully," she broke down. "I miss it so much. I want to be a doctor again. I want it more than I want anything in my entire life. It's part of who I am."

Sully moved in to engulf Michaela in his arms and he let her cry in his shoulder. "I never would of made you choose, never," he rubber her shoulders. Sully felt anger bubble inside of him at the thought of her husband controlling such parts of her life. "You're kids are grown, ya could still go back to doctorin' if ya wanted."

"Oh Sully, it's too late. That part of my life is over."

"It doesn't have to be."

"Sully, it's been almost fifteen years. Medicine has advanced so much since then. I would be so far behind. I'd have to learn everything all over again. No. I can't do that again."

"I bet you were some doctor," he tried to make her smile.

"My father and I were partners…until he died. We worked side by side. I miss him."

Sully moved so Michaela could sit in-between his legs and rest against his chest. "You're father must have been a remarkable man."

"He was. He told me I could be anything I wanted. But, I let him down. I gave up both our dreams."

Sully rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "No ya didn't. They just changed a bit. And that's okay. You're still a wonderful person, Michaela."

Michaela sighed still not feeling one-hundred percent better. Wanting to change the subject she picked up another one of Sully's pictures. "Oh, look at this one. Look at their expressions. It's so beautiful; it's like the cameras not even on them." She smiled up at Sully. "You know their not just photographs, their stories. You should have these published; you should have your own collection. They should be hanging in a gallery somewhere."

"Nobody would buy it," he looked off.

"Why do you say that?" She turned to look at him.

"Six publishers told me so."

Michaela looked down feeling guilty.

"Hey, it's no big deal. What ever it is that makes an artist an artist to the world is just a feature I don't have is all."

"Well maybe you just have to convince yourself first." Michaela reached over and took off the chain that was around her neck. "Maybe you have to ask yourself why you love it so much."

"What's that?"

Putting the chain around his neck she looked at him. "I remember I had this last night. It was made for me in France. My aunt gave it to me for my seventh birthday."

Sully turned around the metal cross and read the name on the back. "Michaela."

"Uh-huh," she smiled. "Keep it," she whispered."

Reaching in Sully gave her a kiss. Knowing that there was on one around Michaela kissed him back with much fervor and wrapped her arms around his back tightly squeezing his shirt in her hands. "Keep it."

_Sully and I spent hours on that blanket under the tree. Most of the time we didn't even talk_. _We were so comfortable with one another we didn't need too. I've never felt more at peace with myself than I did that afternoon. For lunch we rented a small rowboat from the pier and went crabbing. Sully was quite good at it, he showed me how to tie string around the meat and dip it into the water. I couldn't believe how easy it was and how many crabs we caught. It seemed as though we had the island to ourselves. Not many people live on the Haut so it was like our own private haven for the two of us. _

_We took long walks and splashed in the water. Sully told me more about his travels across the nation. And I promised myself that I would visit those places one day. I told him about my childhood in Boston and my days in medical school. Sully seemed so interested in everything I had to say and he was so comforting when I broke down. I wasn't afraid to tell him anything. I opened up more to him than anyone in my entire life. And I think he did the same. And I loved him all the more for it. When we finally left the island, it was around dinner time and Sully took me to Lewiston, a town south of Augusta where he promised me no one would know us there. _

_It was a nice little restaurant nestled in the heart of the city. It was dimly lit and had soft music playing by a string orchestra. We found a table in the back corner and made it our haven. _

Taking a drink of wine Michaela looked up at Sully. "What were you like as a child?"

"Trouble."

"Mmm…" Michaela giggled.

"What?" he laughed.

"Why were you trouble?" she wondered.

"I had a temper."

"Oh," she looked down. "What were your parents like? Your mother and father?"

Sully looked down before catching Michaela's gaze. "I don't know if I can do this you know."

Michaela shook her head. "Do what?"

"Try t' cram a whole lifetime between now and Friday."

Michaela looked at him without saying a word. She knew it was true. There was nothing she could do about it. Her husband was coming home the day after tomorrow and Sully would be gone. There would be no more information shared between the two, no more walks and no more nights of endless love.

Reaching across the table Sully touched the ends of Michaela's hair. She was wearing it down. He had never seen her wear her hair down before. Not since last night. Not since they made love. He knew he had never seen hair more beautiful. Michaela was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. And it pained him to know how she had been neglected. "Let's dance," he pulled her to her feet.

"Sully," Michaela giggled.

Swinging her around they danced closely as if no one else was in the room. Other couples stared at them. Some thinking it scandalous, others admiring.

"What are you thinking?" he asked her.

"Mmm… Just how much I love being with you here like this, in your arms. I never want it to end," she pulled him in closer.

"I was just thinkin' the same thing," he breathed in the scent of her hair.

…………………………………………

Closing the end of the first journal Elizabeth closed her eyes. "You were right, Jonathan. That's all she wanted. She just wanted to be loved. She just wanted someone to care. I didn't do it, you didn't do it and father definitely didn't do it." She broke down in tears. "She was a doctor Jonathan she was a doctor! And father made her stop! Who does that to someone they love? Who makes them stop doing something they love?"

Jonathan swallowed, "I guess father never understood her."

"Or he never took the time," Elizabeth got up and walked in the living room.

Jonathan followed. "I still can't believe she never told us. I mean we knew grandfather was a doctor."

"You heard what she said. She felt guilty. Father made her feel guilty for wanting to be a doctor" she looked down. "But you know I think it would have been neat to have a doctor as a mother. Not everyone can say that you know." She bent down and opened the trunk back up.

"What are you doing?" he sat down next to her.

"I want to see what's in here." She removed the veil and set in on the chair. The first thing that caught her eye was a photograph. "That must be the photo he took of her at Crystal Lake."

Jonathan studied the picture. "Look at her eyes, Lizzie. Have you ever seen them so full of life? They almost sparkle."

Looking at the picture she couldn't help but smile. Her mother looked beautiful. "They do sparkle," she agreed. Setting the photograph down she picked up a large envelope and found all the pictures Sully had taken from around the nation. "He was rather talented," she handed them to her brother.

"What else is in there?" he peered at her.

"Well there are some brochures from national parks, news paper clippings, and some glass plates from his camera. There are also some of mother's personal things in here as well that I've seen before."

"We can look through some of the clippings after we finish reading the second journal." Placing the first one inside he noticed a large white envelope face down in the bottom of the trunk. "What's this?"

"I don't know," she looked at it. "Maybe it's another photo."

"It's kind of heavy," he opened the flat. Taking it out he turned it around and his eyes focused on the painting. "Oh my God."

"What?"

Jonathan looked up to his sister then back down to the painting. "Oh my God."

"Jonathan, what is it?" she grabbed it from his hand. "Oh dear!" her eyes went wide. It was a painting of her mother sitting on the settee by the fire wearing only a white sheet wrapped loosely around her body. A very small smile turned up on her lips but her eyes were staring contently forward as if they were looking into your soul. Her hair was down splashing around her shoulders; her arm was sitting on the side of the settee where her head was resting. Her bare foot was poking out at one side and her right leg was totally exposed. The top of the sheet dipped far down her chest almost exposing her breasts.

Jonathan moved to look at the painting again, "Is that mother?"

"No, Jonathan it's the Queen of England!" she got up. "Of course it's mother. I just…I just can't believe she would pose for a picture like that."

Jonathan swallowed, "Even after everything that happened and everything we read, it still shocked me."

"I know what you mean," Elizabeth couldn't take her eyes off the painting. As much as she knew it wasn't proper in any means she couldn't help but be envious. Her mother looked so free and beautiful. Everything about it was so sexual and yet innocent. In this paining she wasn't Michaela, her mother, housewife of Augusta, Maine. She was Michaela, the doctor, the lover, Sully's love. "I want to finish reading," Elizabeth picked up the second journal.

"You…you go ahead. I need to talk a walk."

"Jonathan?" she eyed him.

"I'm all right. Keep reading I'll be back."

"All right, don't be gone too long."

…………………………………………

_After we got home from dinner that night Sully and I sat by the fire. We both had the same thing on our mind. Tomorrow would be our last day together. Robert would be coming home Friday morning and it would be all over. I couldn't even fathom what life would be like without Sully. I could barely even picture what it like was like before him. _

Sully's hands were running threw Michaela's hair as her head sat in his lap. "Today was a wonderful day," she smiled. "The island was so beautiful. And it was like we had it to ourselves."

Sully's touches soon became slow and sensual as they rubbed her scalp. "I think I found my new favorite place," he smiled.

"Mmm…" she closed her eyes enjoying Sully's soft ministrations.

Looking down at her face Sully suddenly had an idea. "Michaela?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I paint ya?"

"What?" she opened her eyes meeting Sully's blue ones.

"Can I paint you? I've been wantin' t' but I keep forgetting." He ran his hand across her cheek. "Can I?"

"Oh, Sully. I don't know. Why would you want to do that?" she blushed.

"Cause your beautiful," he kissed her forehead.

"Sully, I think I'm hardly beautiful," she looked away. "In fact I-"

"Why would you ever think you're not beautiful?"

"Sully, really…"

"Michaela, really, why would you think that?"

Michaela turned her head to look into the fire. "Because no one has ever told me that before."

Sully looked down at Michaela and he knew she was telling the truth. How could any man not tell her she was beautiful? It wasn't only her physical beauty but her inner beauty as well. "Come here," he held her up and brought her to his arms. 'You're beautiful, Michaela. And don't ever let anyone tell you different. You're beautiful," he kissed her fully on the lip. "Absolutely beautiful."

Pulling away Sully looked at her and saw a small smile play on her lips. "I'll be right back just let me grab some of my things from the wagon."

Michaela watched as Sully walked out of the living room and through the kitchen. She looked down at her dress and an idea occurred to her. "No," she blushed. "I can't do that." Getting up she noticed the bed sheet that was tossed on the settee from the night before. The idea still dancing in her head. She smiled despite herself and decided to be bold. Quickly she unbuttoned her dress and set it on the chair then she unlaced her camisole and pulled off rest of her undergarments. She grabbed the sheet and pulled it around herself and laid back on the settee waiting for Sully to come back. She wondered what he would think of her. Was she being too forward? No, she realized, it was a little too late for that. Michaela heard the screen door slam and Sully's footsteps enter the house.

"Michaela," Sully entered the living room. "I was thinkin' that you should sit on the….settee." His jaw dropped at the sight of her. The firelight danced in her auburn hair and her smile was wide. "Wow," he was stunned.

"Are you going to paint or just gawk at me the entire night?" she joked.

"Oh," Sully shook his head. "Sorry. Yeah, I'm gonna paint." Fumbling with his brushes and stuff he continued to sneak peeks at Michaela. He set up his easel and took out a clean white canvas. He situated himself in front of Michaela so he could get a heads on view. Before picking up his brush he went over to Michaela. "A kiss for good luck?"

"Always," she lifted her hand up to touch his cheek as their lips touched. Michaela could feel Sully's hand moving up her leg and bringing the sheet along with it.

"That's better," he smiled looking at her bare leg.

………………………………………..

Elizabeth sat the journal back in her lap and picked up the painting once more to look at it. Her finger traced along the edges of her mothers smile. A smile that was reserved only for him. The hatred that she stared to feel for her mother was slowly vanishing with each word she read. How could she be mad at her Mother? You can't help who you fall in love with. You can't help it if you were wrong and married someone else….like she did. "Oh, Mother, why couldn't I have found all this out sooner? I could have had the strength to leave him. But you taught me to always stick things out. Why didn't you ever tell me about Sully?" Sighing she turned back to her journal.

…………………………………………

Putting his paint brush back, he closed his case and pushed the easel to the corner of the room. "All done," he smiled.

"Do I get so see it?" she wondered.

"Mmm…in the morning. After it dry's."

"Sully…." She was disappointed.

"Michaela…" he crawled over. "I can't take it anymore."

"Take…take what anymore?" she was worried.

"I can't take lookin at you wearin' barely nothin' and not make love t' ya," he yanked the sheet from her.

"Sully!" she moved to cover her body. "Really!"

"Come here," he took her by her waist and led her to the floor kissing her down her neck. "It took all I had in me not to stop and make love to ya while I was paintin'. The way ya were lookin' at me."

Despite herself she laughed. "Come here," she took his hand. "Let's go up stairs it will be more comfortable."

Michaela and Sully climbed the stairs, past Elizabeth's room, past Jonathan's room and into her own. Lifting her into his arms Sully sat her in the middle of the bed while he quickly divested his own clothing. Pushing herself further onto the bed Sully's body came over hers. His legs framed her hips as he lowered his head down to kiss her. His kisses covered her body. Moving from her neck to her breasts, down her belly to her hips and the inside of her thighs.

"Sully…" she moaned out in pleasure. "Please."

Bringing himself down to her they both looked into each others eyes. Sully pressed his cheek next to hers while his hand reached down her body and parted her thighs, softly he whispered into her ear. "Let me love you…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Sleep well?" Michaela ask Sully as she poured him more coffee.

"Mmm…" he bit into his toast.

Eyeing him she set the coffee back on the stove. She paced back and forth behind him ringing her hands. "Sully, I hope you don't mind my asking, but I think that I should."

He sat his coffee cup down. "What?"

"These women friends of yours from all over the nation, how does it work? Do you see them again or do you forget about it? Do you write them? She sat down. "Huh? What do you do?"

"What do you mean?" he didn't understand where she was going with this.

"I just need to know the routine, your procedure. I don't want to mess that up for you. Do you want some jam?" She moved it toward him not looking him in the eye.

"Michaela what are you talking about, routine? There is no routine. Is that what you think this is?"

"Well what is this?" she stared straight ahead."

"Well is it up to me?" He shrugged his shoulders. "You're the one that's married, with no intention of leaving your husband."

"To do what?" she flared her hand. "To go off with someone who needs everyone but no one in particular? I mean what would be the point? Will you pass me the butter, please?"

"I was honest with you."

"Yes, absolutely." She began to butter her toast. "You have. You have this habit for not needing and that's very hard to break," she shook her head. "So in that case, why sleep? You don't need rest. Why eat?" she picked up his plate. "You don't need food!" she walked over to the sink and threw his plate in.

"What are you doing?" Sully got up.

Michaela walked back and forth in front of the sink. "Well I don't know! Maybe I'm just not cut out to be national citizen. Maybe I'm not cut out to be in your world!" she slammed her hand on the counter looking out the window. "Experience is everything and nothing at the same time."

"How do you know what I've experienced?" he shot back

Michaela turned around and leaned her back into the sink. "I know you!"

"Oh?"

"And what can this possibly mean to someone who doesn't need meaning?" She held her hands out at her sides. "Who goes with the mystery and pretends he's not scared to death."

"Let's stop this right now!" he held out his hands.

"You know what?" she crossed the room and sat at the table. "After you leave here I have to sit here for the rest of my life and wonder what happened to me. If anything happened at all," she began to break down. "And I'm going to have to wonder if you're sitting in some housewife's kitchen in San Francisco or somewhere and telling her about your world and your friends and if you secretly include me in that group."

"What do you want me to say?" he eyed her.

"I don't want you to say anything!" she shook her head. "I don't need you to say anything!"

"I want you to stop this right now."

"Fine!" she got up. "Do you want more eggs or should we just have sex on the floor one last time?"

"I'm not going to be…I'm not going to apologize for who I am."

"No," she held her hands up. "No one's asking you to."

"And I'm not going to be made to feel that I've done something wrong here," he began to get angry.

Michaela tore at the open collar of his shirt and pounded on his chest. "No! You're not going to be made to FEEL anything, period!" She turned away from him and walked to the other end of the kitchen. "Because you have carved out this little part of the world for yourself where you can be a painter, or a photographer, or a hermit, or a lover, whenever you feel like it! And the rest of us are supposed to feel incredibly grateful that we got to share this brief moment of your time!" All of Michaela anger through the years started to come out on Sully. All the years of pain, of loneliness, of solitude came out of her and it couldn't be stopped. Quickly she slammed the chair on the ground. "Go to Hell!" She spun around on her heels. "It isn't human not to be lonely! It isn't human not to be afraid!" she sliced her hand through the air. "You're a hypocrite and a phony!"

"I don't want to need you," he breathed out, his voice low.

"What?" she looked at him.

"Because I can't have you."

"What difference does it make?" she held out her hands.

Sully looked at her as if he was punched in the gut. He shook his head trying to fight back the tears. He walked over to the sink and looked out the window.

"Mmm…" she looked at him. " Oh. Don't you see?" she went over to him, softening. "Don't you see Sully? I just need to know the truth. I just need to know the truth because I'll go crazy." Tears dripped from her face. "Just tell me either way. I don't like this, but it's just the way it has to be. And I can't pretend not to feel what I feel because it's over tomorrow."

Sully continued to look out the window. "If I've I done anything to make you think what we have between us isn't new to me…then I apologize."

"W-what makes you think that, Sully?"

"I think of why I take photographs and the only reason I can come up with is that I've been making my way here." Sully grabbed the edges of Michaela's robe and drew her in closer. And he watched as the tears drop from her eyes. "It seems right now all I've ever done in my life is to make my way here to you. And I have to think about leaving here tomorrow with…with out you." Sully began to breakdown and his own tears fell from his eyes as he pulled Michaela into his arms.

Michaela began to sob into his chest, her tears just racked her body. "God…" she cried. "Oh God, what am I going to do…"

Sully held onto her tighter. He began to kiss away her tears. Over and over they kissed, silently forgiving one another. They swayed back and forth until Michaela heard a wagon drive up. "It's Anna!" she pushed away from him. "Oh no!"

Sully brushed his hands through his hair. "I'll...I'll go up stairs."

"Where's your wagon?" she began to put up her hair.

"Behind the barn."

"Go!" she pushed him up the stairs."

Soon she heard a knocking at the door. "Hello! Michaela?"

Quickly Michaela opened the door. "Hello, Anna," Michaela tried to put on a cheery face.

Walking right into the kitchen Anna sat a pie on the table. "Made ya a blueberry pie this mornin. I send Floyd off to town with the boy. I said Floyd I'm gonna visit Michaela, spend the after noon and that's all there is too it." Anna went over to the cupboard and pulled out two tea cups and some plates and forks. "He said who's gonna make lunch? And I said; I'm taking a sick day, go eat at the café!" she giggled. "Isn't that hilarious? He didn't dare raise an eyebrow I don't even want to tell ya how late he was out last night with those good for nothins' from the Sanford Ranch." Crossing the kitchen she poured herself some coffee. "I'm sorry honey that I let two days pass without comin t' visit but the boy was sick and sometimes time just escapes me. So how's Robert and the kids. Have you talked with them yet? How's his mother? God it's hot!"

Still standing by the front door Michaela had her arms crossed in front of her and her robe pulled tight. "Yes…yes it's hot."

……………………………………………

Hearing something at the front door, Elizabeth closed the journal and walked to the front of the house. Opening the door she looked out on the porch and saw her brother sitting on the swing. "Jonathan?"

"Hey sis," Jonathan began to rock back and forth. "Come join me!" his words were a bit slurred.

Elizabeth walked out on the porch letting the store slam behind her. "Have you been drinking?"

"Only a little," he pinched his fingers together. "I just needed to clear my head."

"I didn't think you drank." Elizabeth held her nose up. "And I don't think that it clears your head."

"I don't," Jonathan looked down. "But I think I needed it. I needed to think back to my time here. And I guess now that I look back at it and think about it there were always signs that mother wasn't as happy as she could be."

Elizabeth took a seat next to her bother. "I know what you mean. Remember the year father forgot her birthday and she tried to act like it didn't bother her and later that night we found her out behind the barn crying. She didn't deserve that Jonathan. Not after everything she did for us. And you know what? I'm glad her and Sully found one another. And no matter whatever else I read in this journal I'm going to be happy for her."

Jonathan placed his hand over his sisters. "I tried so hard to be mad at her. I wanted to be mad at her. But she's my mother, Elizabeth and I love her. Knowing everything that she went through for us, everything she did and what did that leave her with? Huh? A loveless marriage. Ungrateful children."

"Jonathan calm down. Okay. Listen to me. I don't think for a second that mother didn't love father or he didn't love her. But like she said it was a comfortable kind of love. A love that lacks passion but feels secure. And as for us…" she looked around. "We could have said thank you more. I love you more. We could have showed her we cared more. Father gave us anything we wanted and I think we just took mother for granted because she loved us so unconditionally and she was always there when we needed her."

"She was…" Jonathan looked far off into the distance.

"Remember when we were little and when it would storm we would be so afraid and mother would come into our rooms and cuddle with us? She would lay with us for hours just hugging us and telling us stories. We would laugh and tickle one another. Do you remember that?"

Jonathan laughed aloud. "Yeah I do. Her laughter would fill the room. I remember it because at night would be the only time she would wear her hair down. It was always so beautiful and soft. I would just lay there and twirl my fingers through it," Jonathan began to break down. "Oh God, why didn't I tell her! Why didn't I tell her she was the best mother in the world and I loved her and she was great? Why?"

Elizabeth came and wrapped her arms around her brother. "She knew Jonathan, she knew."

"No she didn't," he wiped away his tears.

"Yes. Yes, she did. Or else she never would have written this all down. She never would have wanted us to know. If she didn't think that we could forgive her than she never would have told us. She knew we loved her. She was a great mother. And she sacrificed herself for us. She gave up everything for us."

"I just wish she was here so we could tell her."

"How about we finish this," Elizabeth held up the journal. "Then in the morning we'll sail out to the Haut and before we put mother to rest we'll tell her how we feel. We'll tell her everything."

"Oh God, she's gone, she's really gone!" Jonathan wrapped his arms around his sister. "I loved her so much and now she's gone."

"She is gone. But she doesn't have to be. We can keep her with us. We can not forget her. We have to keep her spirit alive. And I think the first thing we can do is finish her journal. There's one day left. Let's finish it."

……………………………………………..

_After Anne left, I went upstairs and found Sully laying in my bed. I climbed over him and snuggled into his back and wrapped my arms around him. I clasped my hand to his heart and he reached up to hold it. His breathing was haggard and he asked me to come with him. Squeezing my hand harder I could feel his tears landing on my flesh. And I told him yes. I told him I would go with him. He turned and looked in my eyes and before I knew what was happening we started to make love. And it was nothing I've ever felt before or ever felt again. Words can not even describe the places he took me. He held me as if I was the most precious gift in the word. And he said things to me that just sent my heart soaring into his. The moments that we shared together were so deep and profound that they wouldn't make sense to anyone but ourselves. We were one at that moment and I have never felt that way since. _

_That night we had dinner in the dining room. Sully set a beautiful candlelit dinner while I was upstairs packing. I packed up all of my clothes and personal belongings and set them by the door. As I looked at everything it felt so final. My stomach started to do flips as I realized what I was doing. I started to have second thoughts. And Sully could tell by my nervous pacing and the way that I picked at my food that something was wrong._

"You're not coming with me are you?"

"You…you don't know how many times I turn it over and over in my mind, Sully. It just doesn't seem like the right thing."

"For who?" he whispered.

"For anyone. They'll never be able to live through the talk. And Robert, Robert will never be able to get to his arms around this. It will break him in half and he doesn't deserve that. He never hurt anyone in his entire life." She looked down as she placed her hands in her lap.

'But he hurt you Michaela," Sully tried to make her see. He took her hand into his. "What kind of husband doesn't tell his wife that he loves her? What kind of man doesn't tell you you're beautiful? Michaela look at you. Look inside of you. It hurts me inside to think you had to go your entire life without people saying these things to you. Besides, Robert can move on. People move on. He doesn't deserve you!"

"Sully you don't understand, his family has had this farm for over 100 years. Robert doesn't know how to live anywhere else. And my kids…"

"There practically grown, and you said they barely talk t' ya."

"Yes, well they don't say much. But Sully their my babies. And Elizabeth is going to be fifteen soon and she's going to be finding all of this out for herself. She's going to fall in love and she's going to try to build her life with someone. If I leave what does that say to her?"

"W-what about us?" Sully's voice began to tremble.

"You have to know deep down once we leave everything will change between us."

"Yes, it will get better," he tried to make her see.

"Sully, no matter how much distance we put between us and this house I….I'll carry it with me and every moment we're together I will start to blame loving you for how much it hurts." Michaela watched the wax as it dripped down the candle and Sully began to rub his hand up and down her arm causing tears to come to her eyes. "And soon…soon these four beautiful days will just seem like something sorted and a mistake."

"Michaela," Sully's heart went out to her. "Do you think what happened with us just happens to anyone? What we feel…what we feel for each other. We're hardly two separate people anymore. Some people search their whole lives for this and never find it. Others don't even think it exists. Are you going to tell me this is the right thing to do? Give up?"

Tears started to pour from Michaela's eyes. "We are the choices that we have made, Sully."

Looking into her eyes Sully got up from the table and looked out the window.

"You don't understand. You see. Nobody understands that when a woman makes a choice to marry and have children in one way her life begins and in another…it stops. You build a life of details and you just stop and stay steady so your children can move and they take your life and the details with them. You're expected to move on again but, don't even remember what it is that moved you because no body has asked you in so long. Not even yourself." Michaela felt Sully's hand on her shoulders and she began to break down harder and the sobs just racked her body in two. "You never think," she sighed. "You never think that love like this could happen to you." She brought her arms up to caress Sully's as the tears blurred her vision.

"But now you have it."

"And now I want to keep it forever. I want to love you right now like I do for the rest of my life," she got up. "But if we leave we lose it. And I can't make an entire life disappear to start a new one." Michaela clasped her hands before her and closed her eyes, her head falling back to face the ceiling. She tried to speak but the tears were almost two much. "All I can do is try…try to hold on to what it was, somewhere in side of me. And… and you have to help me. You have to help me, Sully." She held her arms out as he walked toward him and clasped his cheeks. "You have to help me."

Sully engulfed her in his arms and squeezed her to his body. He held her tightly as the tears pour down his cheeks. "Don't do this. Don't do this to us. Don't throw this away." Michaela pulled away just enough to look into his eyes. Sully kept a firm grasp on her waist. "Maybe you feel this way and maybe you don't. Maybe it's just because you're in this house. Maybe tomorrow when they come back you'll feel differently. Don't you think that's possible?"

Michaela fell back into the chair. "I…I don' know."

"Look I'm going to be here a few more days. We don't have to talk about this now."

"Sully, don't….don't do this," she swallowed hard.

"I don't want to say goodbye right now. We don't have to make that decision. Maybe you'll change your mind. We could see each other and you'll change your mind."

"Yes," she started to sob again even harder. "And if that happens you'll have to decide because I can't!" Michaela wrapped her arms around Sully's waist and cried, cried harder than she had ever before. Sully dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and showered her face with kisses trying to convey his love and support. She started to kiss him back but then it became to overwhelming for her and she squirmed out of his embrace. And that's when Sully knew it was time. Getting up he started to walk toward the door but then he stopped and turned around. Michaela could only see his outlined shadow in the darkness.

"I'm only going to say this once," he told her. "I've never said it before. This kind of certainly only comes but once in a life time." And with that he turned back around and walked out the kitchen door.

Michaela closed her eyes and clutched her stomach bending over in pain. Sobs emitted from her mouth as she felt her tears touch her bare feet. She started to shake at the pain that was running through her body. Never had she known such pain. "Sully!" she cried jumping up from her chair she ran into the kitchen pushing open the screen down and out onto the porch. She ran to the sidewalk as she watch Sully's wagon race bye. She didn't say anything. She stood at the foot of the drive way her body heaving up and down as he disappeared into the darkness.

_I never went to sleep that night. I never stopped crying. I didn't know it was possible to cry so much. I just couldn't stop. I just couldn't. I got up early and cleaned the house. I put away everything that reminded me of Sully in the trunk. You may not believe it but the picture Sully painted of me I wrapped it in a bed sheet and put it into the trunk before I stuffed it into the oversized envelope. I never saw it. Not once. Because I knew I would never look as happy as I did in that picture. After I finished cleaning the house I went to the front door to catch a breath of fresh air and that's when I saw your wagon coming toward the house. You came home and with that my life if details._

_A day or two passed and with each thought of him a task would present itself like a lifesaver pulling me further and further away from those four days. I was grateful, I felt safe. One morning your father and I rode into Augusta to get some groceries. As we were heading back home it started to rain. Robert was still in the store while I waited in the wagon and that's when I saw Sully. He was standing in the middle of the busy street, in the rain, just staring at me. Even though it was raining I could tell…he was crying. I moved over in my seat to get a better look at him. He smiled at me and then turned around hopping onto his wagon._

_Soon your father jumped into our wagon and for a split second I didn't know where I was and for a moment the thought crossed my mind that he didn't want me and it was easy to walk away. It was so busy in town and some how our wagon ended up behind Sully's as we waited for people to cross the street and traffic to slow. I watch Sully as he reached over to get something off the floor of the wagon. A movement he had done eight days ago and his arm had brushed across my leg. A week ago I had been in town buying a new dress. Slowly I watched as Sully put a chain around his neck. It was my medallion. Roberts' voice rang in my ears causing me to break from my dream. _

"I think that man in front of us is that photographer everyone's been talking about."

Michaela quickly shut her eyes holding them tight. She held her breath.

"What's he waiting for?" Robert looked around. "The roads clear."

Michaela clutched onto the side rail of the wagon. She inched closer to the edge ready to jump off at any second. Wild thoughts crossed her mind. She wanted to jump off and run into Sully's wagon. She wanted to yell to him. She wanted to yell she loved him. She wanted to ride off into the sunset with him. Tighter and tighter she gripped the rail.

"Come on!" Robert yelled. "Let's go!"

Michaela could feel her legs slowly lifting her body off the seat. Her knuckles were turning white from clutching so hard. And that's when she saw Sully slap the reigns thrusting his horses onward turning in the opposite direction that they were going. Her hand dropped from the side rail and fell limply to her side. "Oh no," she whispered.

The words were inside of her. _I was wrong, Sully. I was wrong to stay. I was wrong. I can't go. Let me tell you again why I can't go. Tell me again why I should go._

Michaela felt his words coming back to her. _Certainly like this only comes once in a life time._ Michaela choked back a sob as she closed her eyes.

"What's wrong Michaela?" Robert looked to her. "Will you please tell me what's wrong with you?"

"I just need a minute, Robert." Michaela continued to let the tears roll from her eyes. "I just need a minute."

Shaking his head he looked back toward the road and continued to drive home.

_By the time we got home the rain had stopped. Robert went straight to the barn and I went into the house. I dropped the basket full of groceries onto the table and turned into the little corner between the kitchen and dining room. I laid my head against the wall and cried. It was like the night before, I couldn't make my tears stop._

_I was grateful for the silence that night. I learned that love won't obey our expectations. Its mystery is pure and absolute. What Sully and I had could not continue if we weren't together. What Robert and I shared would vanish if we were apart. But how I wanted to share this. How would our lives changed if we had? Would any one else see the beauty of what we shared? _

**Epilogue **

_I few days later I went to visit Sarah Richardson. The woman that had the affair with Mrs. Delany's husband. We became very good friends. I felt so sorry for her. The entire town despised her and shunned her. It was something that Sully never wanted me to go through. It's funny though because it was three years before I told her about Sully. But being with Sarah some how made me feel it was safe to think about him-to continue loving him. _

_I remember the day your father was lying on his death bed. I was down stairs when I heard him start to cough. I raced up their stairs so I could give him his medicine. _

"Here. I'm here. You're okay. Here." She let him drink the cool liquid. "Drink it slowly."

Robert did as he was told and laid back down on the pillows sighing in relief.

"Better?" she stroked back his hair. "Mmm…"

"Y-yes…"

Getting up and setting the glass on the table Michaela moved around the bed she got into it next to Robert. She laid her hand on his chest and listened to his breathing.

"M-michaela."

"Mmm…"

"I just wanna say that I know you had your own dreams. I'm sorry I couldn't give them to you. I love you so very much," he sighed.

Michaela grabbed onto his hand and held it tight. "I know."

_After your father died I tried to get in touch with Sully. But he had left the national parks business. No one seemed to know where he was. My only connections to him were the places that we had been. So each year on my birthday I would revisit them. And then one day I received a letter from his attorney and a package. It was a rather large crate. After I finally got it open the first thing I saw inside was Sully's camera. I couldn't help but laugh. I remember Sully telling me that he was going to be buried with it. Next I found a national parks magazine with his picture on the cover. Inside were all of the pictures he had taken when in Maine. He had called his article "Four Days," and it was dedicated to, "M." And inside of the first page was the note I left tacked to the tree the night I wanted to meet him. There was an envelope on top of the book and it had my name on it. Inside was a letter Sully wrote to me and as I tipped the envelope upside down my medallion slipped out and landed in my hand. He had returned it to me. _

_There has not been a day since that I have not thought of him when he said we were no longer two people. He was right. We were bound together as tightly as two people can be. If it wasn't for him I don't think I could have lasted all those years on the farm. After reading all this I hope you can understand my burial request. I gave my life to my family-- I wish to give Sully what is left of me. _

_I gave Sarah, Sully's photography magazine. If you want, take a look. If my words still leave some things unclear perhaps those pictures will illuminate what I could not. Because that's what a photographer does best. I love you both with all my heart. Do what you have to do to be happy in this life. There is so much beauty. Go well my children. _

………………………………………

Elizabeth and Jonathan found themselves back in the homestead as they finished reading their mothers second journal. "That's it," Elizabeth closed the journal as a single tear fell from her eye. "That's so sad. She never got to see him again."

Jonathan placed his hand on his sisters shoulder. "She's with him now."

"You think so?"

"Yes," he said resolutely.

Elizabeth looked back in the trunk and something caught her eye.

"What is it?" Jonathan asked.

"It's a news paper clipping," she scanned it over. "It's his obituary." Elizabeth began to read it over. "Jonathan! His name, it…it was Byron!"

Jonathan's eyes turned wide. "That was the name she said before she died. Remember we had no idea what she was saying. She just kept saying it over and over again."

"Oh Mother," Elizabeth shook her head. "You gave up so much." Elizabeth and Jonathan remained silent till they heard the chiming of their mothers grandfather clock. "It's midnight," Elizabeth rubbed her eyes.

"We better go to bed," he got up. "We have a big day tomorrow."

"It will be strange sleeping in our old rooms," Elizabeth's mouth turned up in a grin like her mothers.

Jonathan shook his head in agreement. "You're right."

……………………………………………..

Elizabeth, Jonathan, and Sarah rented a small boat and coasted up to the Haut. It was bitterly cold but no one seemed to mind. It was Elizabeth's idea to invite Sarah. She was the only other person who knew her mothers secret and she felt that she should be there. The first thing that Sarah gave to Elizabeth and Jonathan was Sully's magazine article. And for the first time they were able to place a face with their mothers past.

"He's rather handsome," Elizabeth told Sarah.

"That he is," she smiled. "Well over here," she pointed under a tree to two head stones.

"Sully's buried here too?" Jonathan was shocked.

"Uh-huh," Elizabeth shook her head.

They all watched as the men lowered their mothers casket in the ground. A calm silence surrounded them.

"I didn't know she had this all planned. She had the headstone picked and everything," Elizabeth shook her head.

Sarah took her hand. "She wanted to do this for herself. For the first time in her life she made her own decision and followed her heart."

"She deserved it," both Elizabeth and Jonathan said in unison.

"Here ya are ma'am," the grave digger handed Elizabeth the shovel.

"Thank you," she took it from him.

Elizabeth moved over to the mound of dirt and sprinkled it on her mothers' casket. "Goodbye Mother, and thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for being my Mother and…and I hope you are up there with Sully. I hope you spend forever with him." Elizabeth handed the shovel to her brother and dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief.

"I was mad at first Mother, but I grew to understand and I want you to know that I now know why you did what you did. I'm glad that you found someone out there to love you like how you deserved to be loved. I know Elizabeth and I might not have showed you or told you how much you meant to us but you were our world Mother, you were everything to us. We love you." Jonathan tried hard to fight back his tears. "You can rest now. You can rest knowing that we love you and we will never, ever forget you."

Elizabeth put her arms around her brother hugging him. "Never ever," she smiled.

Both Elizabeth and Jonathan placed their hands on the marble stone. "Goodbye Mother."

**Michaela Raeburn**

**Loving wife, mother, friend**

**February 14th 1833- December 7th 1900**

**Love is a certainty that only comes but once in a life time.**


End file.
